This year has had some major new experiences. They were wonderful. They were scary. They were testimony building.
Early in the Spring you probably remember my emotional breakdown. It was large. I don't know if I have ever truly worked those things out, but I am trying. I have put more faith in our Heavenly Father and less thought to those things that I can't do anything about. I also made a decision to actually DO something about the things that bug me that I CAN do something about. It has been liberating and a journey in itself.
July brought a major journey into my life. I was at my sister's side while she placed her beautiful baby for adoption. This journey was filled with heartache, sadness, joy, and tender feelings. I was able to feel the love of Heavenly Father more than I have in a single experience that week. I also learned what true unconditional love was. I had it for my sister. My sister had it for her daughter. The new adoptive parents had it instantly for that sweet baby girl and my sister both. I am so thankful for this experience in my life and I shall never forget it. Not the feelings and emotions, nor the relationships that were made and strengthened.
My work life has changed drastically in the last month or so. I have been so unhappy at my job for so long. Harrison and I talked, and fasted, and prayed about what to do. We made the decision this late fall that I would quit my job and find something different. I did it. It was scary. It is still scary. I gave my boss a 3 week notice and left. I didn't have anything lined up. I left. It felt invigorating. It also felt right. My last day was a Friday and that next Monday I woke up feeling better and more alive and happier than I had in 3 years. I have no doubt that I made the right decision. It has been a little over a month, and I still do not have a new job. I have had a few interviews, but no offers... YET. I am actually waiting on pins and needles to hear back from a job that I REALLY REALLY REALLY want. I should hear back on Monday if I got the job. I hope I have good news for you in a couple of days.
I had a few journeys in forgiveness. My testimony has been strengthened in the area of forgiveness. Our Heavenly Father forgives all who ask and are repentant. I have NO RIGHT nor is there room for me to withhold forgiveness from others here on this Earth. This journey has been an interesting one. I have learned that just because you forgive somebody, does not mean you have to forget the wrongs or keep those people in your life, but to forgive those of their wrongs is so liberating. I have felt a few weights lifted from my soul and it feels wonderful.
I have also had journeys in sharing my true feelings and being the better for it. There are those in my life whom I have hid feelings from for a long time. In most of these cases I have been able to find the courage to share what I feel and my views. It hasn't always been easy or positive at first, but it has always, in every case, been worth it. I have been able to find respect for others and gain respect as well. It has been quite wonderful.
I am thankful for this past year and for the lessons I have learned. I am thankful for my journey. I am thankful for my testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored gospel on this Earth. I am thankful for the family and friends I have. I am thankful for the wonderful husband that I have. He is such a strength to me. He has helped me through many of these journeys and I love him so much for that.
Thanks for listening to my long dissertation. I hope I didn't bore you! I am excited to talk about my new word and mantra for 2013. I have been thinking about it a lot and it seems that it will be a great year!!
